The Dopler Dance

For those of you who read my first attempt at writing and didn't give up to early to miss it, you learned a new term;  -Dopler Dance - a gaggle of frustrated men, usually golfers, sometimes fishermen, standing around a radar screen pointing at the predicted path of a weather cell. The time of the passing is predicted, as is the likelihood of ever being able to complete the desired activity. Used in a sentence one might say:  Robby and I did the Doppler Dance at the Canyon Creek member guest before deciding to have a bloody Mary. Well, while flying this morning on Southwest airlines, I came across an article on "Wicked Good Words" and it got me to thinkin'( cue my sisters saying " There's your trouble!")...

First of all, you have to understand that I have become quite famous in my business career for my artistic license with words. Not how I use them ( I'm mostly right... I think and yes I know, not grammatically correct), but for making them up. They make perfect sense in the sentence, they just might not be real. I say to hell with it.  Somebody made all of 'em up in the first place.

I'll have to go back to my good buddy Scott Henkel for some of my better ones. The most fun we had after meetings was him recounting how many I made up... I hate to tell you Scotty, but it wasn't as many as you think. It's alright , OU and all. But before I go making up lies about words I made up, I think I'll just take the Southwest articles terms and make up my own definitions.

The point of the piece was the regionalization of terms and what they stood for. I'll leave out the boring ones we all know and see if I can come up with definitions for the ones I don't. Now I know there are games that ask you to do this and the whole "you might be a redneck thing" so I will just say here's your due, now get over it. And so it begins...:

Arizona Nightingale- Good looking Arizona woman who was nice enough not to kick you in the teeth for that bad pick up line..

Real definition, however made up it is; donkey. Look it up, I swear.. Don't know where, maybe the Arizona Almanac of animal humor.

Frog Strangler- Sick minded 10 year old with a mean streak.

Now I should have known this one and even as I write it, my accent gets thick in my head ( Do you ever write in an accent? Didn't know I did till just now I'll be god dawg...) Anyway-

Real Definition: Heavy Rain;

AKA Gully washer, you know, the ones where the water washes the gulleys... Come on, keep up.

Go-aheads- Go ahead on. To move forward , go on about your business, you go girl, etc...

Real definition; Flip Flops... Whatever.

Grinnie- 1. Devious short man with a permanent crooked tooth smile, bald on top, quite dirty in appearance. In other words "Toad" ( I think he was in the Newhart show??) Or Me... 2. Ugly ass fish. Caught in the waters off the Neches and every other river around Texas and the South. Looks like the Snake Head ( that fish they say got imported and is gonna eat everything else- don't worry their not...) 3. Granny...said with a little bit of an accent. I.e. My Grinnie dun died and started pushin' up dem daisies.

Actual Definition according to folks from Western Pennsylvania- A Chipmunk.

Long butt-  Tall girl with a flat seat and seemingly long pockets on her jeans. Extends a bit longer than most.  ( Side Note:  Now I'm not one to judge seats, mine is non-existent, really just and extension of my legs and on into my lower back, so don't go thinkin' I don't know the pots talkin' about the kettle...)

Actual definition; Defective part of a tree. As lopped off by the Loggers of the Pacific Northwest. ( Speaking of loggers, how about that logger contest on ESPN. Hate to run into those boys in a forest...

Well those were the fun ones... Send me more if you'd like and we'll see where we go. 

Hope your smilin'. 

"Go Ahead"

Will